Running Sucks and My Son Is Trying to Kill Me

Follow me here…. somewhere in the recess of my son’s mind he thinks that his older mother can keep up with a D1 athletes workout regimen, where did I go wrong here people ? He forced me to to not only workout with him in 85 degree heat with 63 percent humidity only cemented but he made me run.

That’s right R-U-N.

I only run if something or someone is chasing me. I am not a pleasure runner, there is nothing about those two words together that make sense to me. When I hear that someone loves running and can’t imagine a day without it, I look at them as though they just spoke greek and expect me to lapse into the language. I don’t get it. I have never had the supposed “runners high” that long time runners get, I was once told “just wait sometimes it takes awhile, then you get a runners high and you can’t stop”. Look, if I didn’t get it after six years of running in the military, it ain’t happening.  I am beginning to believe that this supposed runners high doesn’t actually exist but is just hype that runners came up with to try and get the rest of us to suffer with them; you’re not fooling me, I am on to your scheme.  But I digress… basically my son made me run and I spent fifteen minutes after we were done, grilling him about why he is trying to kill me, To be completely honest the grilling session lasted longer than fifteen minutes because I was trying to breath in between accusations I was throwing at him. His only reply was “I am actually trying to make you live longer, because I love you”…yeah right, like that’s a viable reason.

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