Our son excitedly went back to college for his second year, although with the pandemic it feels like it’s actually his first year, but I digress… As he left I was again filled with anxiety on if he would be ok, if he would have a better year than his first and then he turned to me and said “Mama I know how to FITFO so I’ll be fine”. Yes, FITFO. Let me stop here and say that our son goes to college 1869 miles away from our home (yes that’s door to door mileage, not that I’m counting). Which means if something goes wrong, if he needs a shoulder to lean on or a parent to come to his rescue…we can only provide it to him virtually and apparently me moving in with him to avoid this issue is; “not cool” or “things you are not gonna do Mama” (sounds like BS to me). However, with all of this said; we have never once put limits on where our son goes on his next adventure, how he chooses that adventure or even what we think his adventure should be. Because of one simple fact …

IT’S. HIS. LIFE. Read that again for me…

I have always said to our son “I gave you life so that YOU could live it. I have a life, I don’t need another one”. Even when my heartbreaks as he leaves us (again) for his next adventure it eventually succumbs to the fact that he is living his BEST life because HE is living it for HIM. I am sure there are nay sayers and plenty of people that will happily tell me why I am wrong, that I am the worst Mama ever blah blah blah but let me tell you this; he is figuring out how to navigate all the pitfalls, all the upsets, all the let downs, all the excitement, all the hurdles and all of the adventures that life has to offer and he’s doing it all HIS WAY. He is 18 years old and he is fucking slaying his life, S-L-A-Y-I-N-G IT. More importantly he is finding and embracing the amazing person that his Papa and I have always seen but that others have spent years trying to strip away. Witnessing that is p-r-i-c-e-l-e-s-s.

When kids are given roots AND wings, the FITFO and live THEIR best life.

Keep raising hell kid. The world needs you just as you are. <3


  1. There is no words that are right for my response to this post.
    That kid will always be one of the biggest loves of my life and I can’t explain what watching you be a mother and father has been like for me.
    Amazing is not enough credit.
    Love you all.

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