How can I better deal with work frustrations when I’m a high performer and feel like I have to own everything?
J. Charles
Being a high performer is a hard job regardless of the actual work you are doing. You will always hold yourself to a higher standard than you do others which leads to the feeling of having to own everything because “if you want it done right do it yourself”. Sound familiar? In my opinion owning everything is your way of taking control of others work to ensure that it lives up to your high performing standards. While sometimes this is needed in certain situations, it doesn’t apply to all of them. When you own everything, you shift the load from many shoulders to just one which leads to resentment for your work and those within it until you become burnt out from it all together.
My advice would be that the next time you feel you need to own something, ask yourself why? If it’s because work isn’t getting done to your standards, remember that it’s still getting done. Like when I ask my son to do the dishes, he doesn’t do it how I would and it takes him two times longer but he still does it and at the end of the day the dishes are done (huzzah!). The bonus of trying this is that it shows those around you that you trust how they are handling/working on something and will lead to less moments of needing to own everything yourself.
Like wise, if there is a logical reason for why you need to own something, then talk with whomever else is involved and get them to co-own it with you. This can allow you to have someone else to bounce ideas,solutions or even frustrations off of. You won’t be able to do this every time you need to own something but it will take the load of your work frustrations off your shoulders and couldn’t we all use that from time to time?
That makes a lot of sense and really helps. I’ll have to work on not wanting “to control everything”. Thank you!